I forgot how crummy it feels to run from God. That’s what I was doing earlier this week. It wasn’t anything extreme—no drugs, no alcohol, not even much ice cream—in fact, if you lived with me, you wouldn’t have known I was running. But I was.
What did it look like? Well, on the inside it looked like this—incredible boredom, subdued grief, mild panic, and extreme restlessness. On the outside it looked like a woman complaining and making jokes about how bored she was but not doing anything to get unbored.
Actually, that’s not quite true. I did try a few things. I wandered around the house. I wandered around the yard. I even read a good book and watched the Survivor Finale on the internet. I also called a few friends and told them how bored I was.
What I didn’t do was go to God for the help I needed to cope with life. Instead, I just coasted through the days trying not to think—trying to cover up my emotions with recreational activities. And it didn’t work.
I was miserable. Yes, it was a functioning kind of miserable, but miserable just the same. How much better life is when I go to God for help as soon as I need that help! You know why I didn’t go? Because I didn’t want to think about it.
You see, a lot has happened the last couple weeks. First I gave some talks on emotional eating at the local hospital (a scary experience); then I had to wait three days to go back for further evaluation after a suspicious mammogram (everything turned out okay), and then we had a graduation party for our second son (who will be going to college in the fall) with all the accompanying “life with the kids has been so great—I can’t believe they’re all leaving” emotions.
In the midst of all that my oldest son left for a three month adventure in Europe and the Middle East, traveling alone, and sleeping who knows where (it’s a budget trip).
All those old feelings of being sad about the kids leaving and worrying about their welfare came back to haunt me—but instead of dealing with my emotions—renewing my mind and seeing the situation from God’s point of view, I just tried not to think about it.
Do you ever do this? Life is nagging at you, but you don’t want to deal with it? You’d rather just escape? Well, I can tell you from experience this is a bad idea—you can’t escape!
I love living at peace. I love making God’s priorities, my priorities. I love trusting in His sovereign nature and even submitting to His will. But none of these things happen by chance.
If my focus is on escaping life or even on making life so great I don’t want to escape it, I’m not going to live a peaceful life—because I can’t find peace without God.
I did find peace eventually. The third day of my run, I submitted to God. I prayed with thanksgiving. I truth journaled. I asked myself, “How am I seeing these situations in life? How does God see these same situations?” What I did was get God’s perspective on my life. And when I got His perspective, I also received His peace and joy.
We can’t create the perfect life. We can’t control life. We can’t guarantee our kids will always make wise decisions (or us, either, for that matter). But we can trust in God. We can rely on His goodness. We can recognize His sovereignty. We can go to Him with our concerns.
I’m through running—at least for this week. My goal is to be through running for good, but I’m not naïve enough to think I’ll never stumble again. So much of Christianity is learning how to live for God in each new situation that comes up. It just seems like I've had a lot of new situations lately.
I'm going to keep pressing on, though. I don't want to be a mom who worries. I don't want to be a woman who's afraid to do things that make her uncomfortable. I don't want to be a person who feels like life has to be exciting all the time. What I want to be is a woman who loves God and lives in His presence all the time.
Even when it's hard.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Working on the Emotions
According to a 7/19/06 ABC news report, about 140,000 people have weight-loss surgery each year, and it's estimated that somewhere between 5 and 30 percent of them pick up new addictive behaviors afterward.
That was three years ago. I can only guess that the numbers have gone up.
This underscores for me the importance of not just working on the lies that make us eat, but also working on the lies that are causing our negative emotions in the first place. If we don’t go to God with those negative emotions, we’ll have to do something else with them—and that something else could very well lead to another addiction.
Let’s look at this issue from the standpoint of just one emotion. Take the emotion of anger—do you ever feel annoyed with your friends or family members? Is there anyone at church or work that really gets on your nerves? How do you respond in these situations?
Here are some possible responses:
1) Eat.
2) Truth journal so you don’t eat.
3) Withdraw—ignore them or get out of the relationship.
4) Try to be nice even though you’re silently resenting them.
5) Get your feelings out by talking to a friend or writing in a journal.
6) Try to change them. Maybe if you say the right thing, they’ll see the light and change.
7) Feel sorry for yourself.
8) Yell at them.
9) Learn to see them through God’s eyes, then accept, forgive, and love.
Of course, we all know the right response—but it’s certainly not the natural response, is it? We would really have to spend some time bringing our thoughts captive to the truth if we wanted to respond with that last option. That option, though, is the only option that will bring peace (unless of course the other person is willing and able to change, which doesn’t usually happen).
Now you might think that the second option is a good option also. I agree—it’s a good option—but if that’s all you do, it can be a dangerous option. Why? Because those negative emotions still need to be released. If you only work on not eating and don’t work on getting rid of the anger, you’ll be in danger of turning to another escape to get rid of those negative emotions.
Women often tell me that Freedom from Emotional Eating is just as much about regular life as it is about eating. That’s because it’s regular life that makes us eat. If we don’t learn how to deal with our problems the way God wants us to, those emotions will still be there in need of an outlet. If we don’t eat, what will we do?
So much of the Christian walk is about dying to our “rights” and being willing to do anything for God. Because we’re so entrenched in the world’s way of thinking, it’s hard for us to do that without first taking the time to carry our thoughts captive to the truth.
I find that when I take the time to line my thoughts up with God’s thoughts, it helps me submit to Him—and submitting to Him always brings peace.
And peace is one of those emotions that doesn’t make me feel like eating.
That was three years ago. I can only guess that the numbers have gone up.
This underscores for me the importance of not just working on the lies that make us eat, but also working on the lies that are causing our negative emotions in the first place. If we don’t go to God with those negative emotions, we’ll have to do something else with them—and that something else could very well lead to another addiction.
Let’s look at this issue from the standpoint of just one emotion. Take the emotion of anger—do you ever feel annoyed with your friends or family members? Is there anyone at church or work that really gets on your nerves? How do you respond in these situations?
Here are some possible responses:
1) Eat.
2) Truth journal so you don’t eat.
3) Withdraw—ignore them or get out of the relationship.
4) Try to be nice even though you’re silently resenting them.
5) Get your feelings out by talking to a friend or writing in a journal.
6) Try to change them. Maybe if you say the right thing, they’ll see the light and change.
7) Feel sorry for yourself.
8) Yell at them.
9) Learn to see them through God’s eyes, then accept, forgive, and love.
Of course, we all know the right response—but it’s certainly not the natural response, is it? We would really have to spend some time bringing our thoughts captive to the truth if we wanted to respond with that last option. That option, though, is the only option that will bring peace (unless of course the other person is willing and able to change, which doesn’t usually happen).
Now you might think that the second option is a good option also. I agree—it’s a good option—but if that’s all you do, it can be a dangerous option. Why? Because those negative emotions still need to be released. If you only work on not eating and don’t work on getting rid of the anger, you’ll be in danger of turning to another escape to get rid of those negative emotions.
Women often tell me that Freedom from Emotional Eating is just as much about regular life as it is about eating. That’s because it’s regular life that makes us eat. If we don’t learn how to deal with our problems the way God wants us to, those emotions will still be there in need of an outlet. If we don’t eat, what will we do?
So much of the Christian walk is about dying to our “rights” and being willing to do anything for God. Because we’re so entrenched in the world’s way of thinking, it’s hard for us to do that without first taking the time to carry our thoughts captive to the truth.
I find that when I take the time to line my thoughts up with God’s thoughts, it helps me submit to Him—and submitting to Him always brings peace.
And peace is one of those emotions that doesn’t make me feel like eating.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Hi everyone, I was having my quiet time this morning and came across this great Bible verse. It's Jeremiah 23:29.
"Is not My word like fire?" declares the Lord, "and like a hammer which shatters a rock?"
God's Word is perfect for breaking down strongholds. I thought this would be another good verse for us to pray through!
"Is not My word like fire?" declares the Lord, "and like a hammer which shatters a rock?"
God's Word is perfect for breaking down strongholds. I thought this would be another good verse for us to pray through!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
The Lies That Precede Special Events
Whenever I feel like I have to be skinny I gain weight. Something about the dilemma of trying to meet the world’s expectations for my body just makes me want to eat.
Have you ever felt that way? You have a special event you’re planning to go to, and you feel like you just have to lose a few pounds before then? I haven’t truth journaled much for these kinds of things, but I need to, because they honestly always make me gain weight.
Today I want to look at the lies that make me feel like I have to be skinny for certain things. I want to prepare myself for those events ahead of time, so I don’t get swept into the idea that who I am on the outside is more important than who I am on the inside. Care to join me?
The Lies That Precede Special Events
1. I need to lose x pounds before this event.
Truth: This is actually a bad time for me to try to lose weight. It will feed into the idea that I have to be skinny for this event. Knowing my track record, the pressure will probably make me gain weight instead. (Note: This is true for me, but it might not be true for you—I imagine each of us is different in this regard.)
2. I have to be skinny for this event.
Truth: Any time I say, “I have to be” or “I have to have,” I’m in danger of making that “have to” an idol. God wants to be the only “have to” in my life. It’s presumptuous of me to say I have to live up to someone else’s standards (even if that someone else is me). I need to forget Hollywood’s take on life and embrace God’s view of life. If I’m going to work on something before the event, my character might be a better choice! (Something about this truth is making me want to grab some pom-poms and start cheering.)
3. If I’m x number of pounds I’m skinny, but if I’m y number of pounds I’m fat.
Truth: X and Y change throughout life. The number on the scale I now see as “fat” looked skinny to me a year ago. Weight is relative. I need to remember that.
4. If I’m not skinny, people will condemn me.
Truth: I can't change how others see me, but I can change how much I let it affect me. I'll have to be careful to steep myself in the Word before this event, so I see myself through God's eyes and not the eyes of others. Plus I'll need to be careful to love those who condemn me, and not condemn them back.
5. It will be terrible if I’m not skinny.
Truth: It will be life if I’m not skinny. After all, haven’t I been “not skinny” at these events before? It’s not the end of the world if I’m not skinny!
6. It will be embarrassing if I’m not skinny.
Truth: It will be an opportunity to grow if I’m not skinny. If I take my embarrassment and go to God with it and use it as an indicator that I’m not seeing life through His eyes, it can spur me on to greater intimacy with God as I work on lining up my thoughts up with His.
7. I might as well keep eating, since I’ll never be able to lose weight by then (this is said, of course, after the diet has failed a few times).
Truth: If my goal is to break free from the stronghold of emotional eating (and possibly another stronghold of focusing too much on appearance), I might as well use this event as an opportunity to carry my thoughts captive to the truth. This whole experience can draw me closer to God as I work on all these thoughts and emotions that are racing through my mind. I need to remember—the goal isn’t to be skinny. The goal is to learn how to live life the way He wants me to live it.
I don’t know about you, but this is making me want to put on a swimsuit and go to the beach! Breaking free from the need to look good all the time is just as important as breaking free from the need to eat all the time.
Why don’t we make a choice today to view ourselves through the eyes of God and not the eyes of the world?
Have you ever felt that way? You have a special event you’re planning to go to, and you feel like you just have to lose a few pounds before then? I haven’t truth journaled much for these kinds of things, but I need to, because they honestly always make me gain weight.
Today I want to look at the lies that make me feel like I have to be skinny for certain things. I want to prepare myself for those events ahead of time, so I don’t get swept into the idea that who I am on the outside is more important than who I am on the inside. Care to join me?
The Lies That Precede Special Events
1. I need to lose x pounds before this event.
Truth: This is actually a bad time for me to try to lose weight. It will feed into the idea that I have to be skinny for this event. Knowing my track record, the pressure will probably make me gain weight instead. (Note: This is true for me, but it might not be true for you—I imagine each of us is different in this regard.)
2. I have to be skinny for this event.
Truth: Any time I say, “I have to be” or “I have to have,” I’m in danger of making that “have to” an idol. God wants to be the only “have to” in my life. It’s presumptuous of me to say I have to live up to someone else’s standards (even if that someone else is me). I need to forget Hollywood’s take on life and embrace God’s view of life. If I’m going to work on something before the event, my character might be a better choice! (Something about this truth is making me want to grab some pom-poms and start cheering.)
3. If I’m x number of pounds I’m skinny, but if I’m y number of pounds I’m fat.
Truth: X and Y change throughout life. The number on the scale I now see as “fat” looked skinny to me a year ago. Weight is relative. I need to remember that.
4. If I’m not skinny, people will condemn me.
Truth: I can't change how others see me, but I can change how much I let it affect me. I'll have to be careful to steep myself in the Word before this event, so I see myself through God's eyes and not the eyes of others. Plus I'll need to be careful to love those who condemn me, and not condemn them back.
5. It will be terrible if I’m not skinny.
Truth: It will be life if I’m not skinny. After all, haven’t I been “not skinny” at these events before? It’s not the end of the world if I’m not skinny!
6. It will be embarrassing if I’m not skinny.
Truth: It will be an opportunity to grow if I’m not skinny. If I take my embarrassment and go to God with it and use it as an indicator that I’m not seeing life through His eyes, it can spur me on to greater intimacy with God as I work on lining up my thoughts up with His.
7. I might as well keep eating, since I’ll never be able to lose weight by then (this is said, of course, after the diet has failed a few times).
Truth: If my goal is to break free from the stronghold of emotional eating (and possibly another stronghold of focusing too much on appearance), I might as well use this event as an opportunity to carry my thoughts captive to the truth. This whole experience can draw me closer to God as I work on all these thoughts and emotions that are racing through my mind. I need to remember—the goal isn’t to be skinny. The goal is to learn how to live life the way He wants me to live it.
I don’t know about you, but this is making me want to put on a swimsuit and go to the beach! Breaking free from the need to look good all the time is just as important as breaking free from the need to eat all the time.
Why don’t we make a choice today to view ourselves through the eyes of God and not the eyes of the world?
Monday, April 27, 2009
Does It Ever Get Easy?
Do you ever wonder if you’ll struggle with food for the rest of your life? I know I used to feel like that. Eating seemed to be that one thing in life I would never be able to get a handle on. I didn’t control food—it controlled me.
I know many of you who read this blog feel the same way I used to feel. You wonder if you’ll ever get over it, and you’re tired of the battle. It’s hard to keep pressing on when you fail time after time after time.
Of course, Monday mornings are always hopeful. That’s the traditional day to start the new program, right? We eat all weekend with the idea that we’ll be good “starting Monday.”
But Monday never lasts. By Thursday or Friday (if we last that long), it’s back to the same old story—breaking our boundaries, feeling discouraged, and wanting to give up.
Here’s the interesting thing. Since we have a tendency to handle life’s problems with food, our natural inclination is to handle the problem of trying to stick to our eating boundaries the same way. When it’s hard, we eat! Of course, that breaks the boundaries and leads to the feeling that we’ll never get over the problem.
So what’s the answer? Are we stuck in an endless circle of failure and discouragement? No, a thousand times no! The answer is God. He can set us free from anything. He’s the Creator of the universe. He can move mountains. Of course, He can set us free from emotional eating.
What we need to do is study His Word to find out how He sets people free. What does God use to change behavior? Let’s look at Jesus’ prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane. When He prayed this prayer, He knew He wouldn’t be around much longer, and He was praying for the ones He was leaving behind.
In John 17:15 Jesus is telling the Father, “I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one.” This could also be translated “keep them out of evil.”
He goes on to say how this is accomplished in verse 17, “Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.” The Greek word for “in” that’s used here has an essence of “by means of.” We are sanctified and kept from evil by means of the truth.
In other words, we don’t change our behavior by getting up Monday morning and saying, “This week is going to be different! This week I’m going to stick with my plan!” No, we’re changed by the truth.
Remember, it’s not about the boundaries. It’s not about the plan. It’s about truth—and truth comes from God and His Word.
Food no longer controls me, but it’s not because of any brilliant displays of self-control and determination on my part. It was an incredibly difficult battle to change the way I responded to life. It often felt like I was limping along barely able to make progress.
When I felt that old urge to pull myself up by the bootstraps and “wait ‘til Monday,” I had to tell myself, “No, that’s not the way it works. It’s the truth that will set me free. I need to spend more time with God today. I need to cling to His word. I need to carry my thoughts captive to Him.” And that’s what set me free.
It’s also what keeps me free. When I feel tempted to go back to my old ways, I pull out my trusty lie-truth charts and start filling them out again. As I write the truth, I see my desires change before my eyes.
The Bible is a life-changing, joy-giving book. I’m amazed by its brilliance and transformed by it’s wisdom. This Monday morning, I encourage you to look for the solution to emotional eating in its pages—and not in another program!
I know many of you who read this blog feel the same way I used to feel. You wonder if you’ll ever get over it, and you’re tired of the battle. It’s hard to keep pressing on when you fail time after time after time.
Of course, Monday mornings are always hopeful. That’s the traditional day to start the new program, right? We eat all weekend with the idea that we’ll be good “starting Monday.”
But Monday never lasts. By Thursday or Friday (if we last that long), it’s back to the same old story—breaking our boundaries, feeling discouraged, and wanting to give up.
Here’s the interesting thing. Since we have a tendency to handle life’s problems with food, our natural inclination is to handle the problem of trying to stick to our eating boundaries the same way. When it’s hard, we eat! Of course, that breaks the boundaries and leads to the feeling that we’ll never get over the problem.
So what’s the answer? Are we stuck in an endless circle of failure and discouragement? No, a thousand times no! The answer is God. He can set us free from anything. He’s the Creator of the universe. He can move mountains. Of course, He can set us free from emotional eating.
What we need to do is study His Word to find out how He sets people free. What does God use to change behavior? Let’s look at Jesus’ prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane. When He prayed this prayer, He knew He wouldn’t be around much longer, and He was praying for the ones He was leaving behind.
In John 17:15 Jesus is telling the Father, “I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one.” This could also be translated “keep them out of evil.”
He goes on to say how this is accomplished in verse 17, “Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.” The Greek word for “in” that’s used here has an essence of “by means of.” We are sanctified and kept from evil by means of the truth.
In other words, we don’t change our behavior by getting up Monday morning and saying, “This week is going to be different! This week I’m going to stick with my plan!” No, we’re changed by the truth.
Remember, it’s not about the boundaries. It’s not about the plan. It’s about truth—and truth comes from God and His Word.
Food no longer controls me, but it’s not because of any brilliant displays of self-control and determination on my part. It was an incredibly difficult battle to change the way I responded to life. It often felt like I was limping along barely able to make progress.
When I felt that old urge to pull myself up by the bootstraps and “wait ‘til Monday,” I had to tell myself, “No, that’s not the way it works. It’s the truth that will set me free. I need to spend more time with God today. I need to cling to His word. I need to carry my thoughts captive to Him.” And that’s what set me free.
It’s also what keeps me free. When I feel tempted to go back to my old ways, I pull out my trusty lie-truth charts and start filling them out again. As I write the truth, I see my desires change before my eyes.
The Bible is a life-changing, joy-giving book. I’m amazed by its brilliance and transformed by it’s wisdom. This Monday morning, I encourage you to look for the solution to emotional eating in its pages—and not in another program!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Cinnamon Bread and Chocolate Clusters
Today I want to walk you through an actual journaling situation. When I first started working on eating with lifelong boundaries, I tried to journal whenever I broke the boundaries—or at least before I went to bed that night.
Now that following the boundaries is more habitual, I don’t journal much even if I do break the boundaries. The thing that makes me pull out my lie-truth chart again is when I’ve broken my boundaries and feel like there’s a good chance I’ll break them again the next day. I would guess this happens maybe once or twice a month. (It used to happen all the time, so I’m making progress!)
Since this happened to me today, I thought I’d show you how journaling works in a real-life situation. First I’ll tell you what I ate today and then show you what I journaled about.
Breakfast: ½ chicken sandwich, 1/3 cup yogurt with berries
Lunch: 1 chicken sandwich, small bowl applesauce
Snack: An incredibly yummy dark chocolate, almond, caramel cluster that came in the mail today from a friend.
Supper: Three pieces cinnamon bread (made by my daughter), small ham and cheese omelet, celery
Snack: strawberry orange smoothie (about 6 oz.)
My boundaries are three meals and one snack so, technically, the only time I broke my boundaries today was with the smoothie. However, I hadn’t planned on eating the chocolate for a snack. I was planning on having a piece of cinnamon bread when it came out of the oven and another for supper - but when I opened the envelope with that yummy chocolate cluster I couldn’t resist, and I ate it right away.
So what did I journal about? The chocolate and the third piece of cinnamon bread. Even though neither one was a technical breaking of the boundaries, both of them were indulgent eating occasions, and I knew I would be facing more temptation tomorrow (lunch with friends and more cinnamon bread in the house). I knew I needed to bring my thoughts captive to Christ tonight if I wanted to glorify Him in my eating tomorrow.
Let me show you how I journaled it:
Chocolate: 1. I have to have this right now because it looks so good.
Truth: I have to go truth journal or pray Scripture or get someone to hide this right now because it looks so good, and it will be better for me not to have it.
Cinnamon bread: 1. I should have one more piece of cinnamon bread. 2. It’s so good it’s worth having one more. 3. It’s okay to have three (it’s just one more piece, after all).
Truth: 1. I should stick to my original plan. When I break my boundaries, I almost always end up eating more than I want to eat. I can never get enough cinnamon bread to satisfy me in this situation. I’ll always want more (unless I eat enough to get sick, of course). Since I’ll always want more, I should stop not when I’ve had enough (because that will never happen), but when it’s a reasonable amount.** 2. It’s never good enough to stuff myself and feel uncomfortable for! 3. Although it’s okay to have three pieces, it’s not wise to have three pieces.
**Note: There are many times when I do feel satisfied with a small amount of a sweet, but not when I’m in an indulgent mood like I was at dinner!
Now here’s the funny thing—I was doing the truth journaling while I was drinking the smoothie, and you know what? As I was writing, I was thinking oh, it’s never good enough to stuff myself; I don’t think I’ll have the rest of this smoothie because I don’t want to feel stuffed. And then I gave the rest of the smoothie to my son (don’t worry, he’s a healthy eater!).
I am now ready to go to bed, and I’m not worrying about breaking my boundaries tomorrow. There’s still cinnamon bread in the house, and I don’t even want a piece. God has used the truth to take away my wrong desires and replace them with holy desires. It was worth truth journaling tonight.
P.S. Did you notice I didn't condemn myself for breaking my boundaries or say things like, "I can never stick to this"? The only reason I didn't say those things to myself, is because I don't actually believe those things anymore. And the only reason I don't believe them anymore is because I truth journaled thoughts like that so many times in the beginning that the truth is ground into my head!
Now that following the boundaries is more habitual, I don’t journal much even if I do break the boundaries. The thing that makes me pull out my lie-truth chart again is when I’ve broken my boundaries and feel like there’s a good chance I’ll break them again the next day. I would guess this happens maybe once or twice a month. (It used to happen all the time, so I’m making progress!)
Since this happened to me today, I thought I’d show you how journaling works in a real-life situation. First I’ll tell you what I ate today and then show you what I journaled about.
Breakfast: ½ chicken sandwich, 1/3 cup yogurt with berries
Lunch: 1 chicken sandwich, small bowl applesauce
Snack: An incredibly yummy dark chocolate, almond, caramel cluster that came in the mail today from a friend.
Supper: Three pieces cinnamon bread (made by my daughter), small ham and cheese omelet, celery
Snack: strawberry orange smoothie (about 6 oz.)
My boundaries are three meals and one snack so, technically, the only time I broke my boundaries today was with the smoothie. However, I hadn’t planned on eating the chocolate for a snack. I was planning on having a piece of cinnamon bread when it came out of the oven and another for supper - but when I opened the envelope with that yummy chocolate cluster I couldn’t resist, and I ate it right away.
So what did I journal about? The chocolate and the third piece of cinnamon bread. Even though neither one was a technical breaking of the boundaries, both of them were indulgent eating occasions, and I knew I would be facing more temptation tomorrow (lunch with friends and more cinnamon bread in the house). I knew I needed to bring my thoughts captive to Christ tonight if I wanted to glorify Him in my eating tomorrow.
Let me show you how I journaled it:
Chocolate: 1. I have to have this right now because it looks so good.
Truth: I have to go truth journal or pray Scripture or get someone to hide this right now because it looks so good, and it will be better for me not to have it.
Cinnamon bread: 1. I should have one more piece of cinnamon bread. 2. It’s so good it’s worth having one more. 3. It’s okay to have three (it’s just one more piece, after all).
Truth: 1. I should stick to my original plan. When I break my boundaries, I almost always end up eating more than I want to eat. I can never get enough cinnamon bread to satisfy me in this situation. I’ll always want more (unless I eat enough to get sick, of course). Since I’ll always want more, I should stop not when I’ve had enough (because that will never happen), but when it’s a reasonable amount.** 2. It’s never good enough to stuff myself and feel uncomfortable for! 3. Although it’s okay to have three pieces, it’s not wise to have three pieces.
**Note: There are many times when I do feel satisfied with a small amount of a sweet, but not when I’m in an indulgent mood like I was at dinner!
Now here’s the funny thing—I was doing the truth journaling while I was drinking the smoothie, and you know what? As I was writing, I was thinking oh, it’s never good enough to stuff myself; I don’t think I’ll have the rest of this smoothie because I don’t want to feel stuffed. And then I gave the rest of the smoothie to my son (don’t worry, he’s a healthy eater!).
I am now ready to go to bed, and I’m not worrying about breaking my boundaries tomorrow. There’s still cinnamon bread in the house, and I don’t even want a piece. God has used the truth to take away my wrong desires and replace them with holy desires. It was worth truth journaling tonight.
P.S. Did you notice I didn't condemn myself for breaking my boundaries or say things like, "I can never stick to this"? The only reason I didn't say those things to myself, is because I don't actually believe those things anymore. And the only reason I don't believe them anymore is because I truth journaled thoughts like that so many times in the beginning that the truth is ground into my head!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
When To-Do Lists Drive You to the Refrigerator
I had a hard time sticking to my boundaries yesterday. It was one of those days when I felt like just sitting by the fire with a bowl of ice cream in my lap and a book in my hand doing nothing. Now if this had been just a fluke day in my otherwise diligent life, it wouldn’t be a big deal. The problem is that I often feel like sitting in front of the fire doing nothing. I’m a lazy person by nature.
Now I suppose I could say, “Well, that’s just the way I am. Besides, there’s nothing that really needs to get done today.” But what if I were to say that day after day after day? What would my life look like?
I know what it would look like, because I’ve lived it. You might think it would be a fun, relaxing life, but it really isn’t. What it is is a series of last-minute “oh no – I need to get this done today!” moments. It’s a feeling of being overwhelmed and out-of-control—feeling like you’ll never catch up with life.
Does God really want me to live my life like this? I don’t think so. I know that my laziness keeps me from doing things He wants me to do, so I’m working on bringing this area of my life captive to Christ.
Instead of sitting all day by the fire yesterday, I did this. First, I pulled out my procrastination verses and prayed through them. Then I truth journaled about my list (It would be more fun sitting and eating by the fire all day than working, I don’t feel like working so I shouldn’t, idle time is the best time, etc.), and finally I broke my jobs into smaller more manageable tasks and got to work.
Now you might say, “That’s crazy—all that work just to make yourself work? Why not just force yourself to do it?” Here’s the answer. If I just force myself to do it (which I’m not good at anyway), I miss the opportunity to renew my mind and change the way I think about work.
It took a lot of effort yesterday to carry my thoughts captive to Christ through truth journaling and praying Scripture. It would have been much easier just to sit by the fire and eat ice cream with the plan of “doing better tomorrow.” It would have been much easier to just try and force myself to do the work. It would have been much easier to give up and say, “I’ll never change.”
But do I really want what’s easy? Or do I want to please God? I can’t do both at the same time in this situation.
If I continue to renew my mind when I feel like procrastinating, one day I’ll have victory over this area of my life. I’ll probably never be a “let’s get it done” sort of person, but as God changes the way I think about work, I'll actually be more inclined to "get it done now" rather than waiting until later.
One day my first reaction will be to do the list—not head for the refrigerator. Taking the time to renew my mind now will lead to a weight loss later - because I won’t be eating to procrastinate anymore.
Now I suppose I could say, “Well, that’s just the way I am. Besides, there’s nothing that really needs to get done today.” But what if I were to say that day after day after day? What would my life look like?
I know what it would look like, because I’ve lived it. You might think it would be a fun, relaxing life, but it really isn’t. What it is is a series of last-minute “oh no – I need to get this done today!” moments. It’s a feeling of being overwhelmed and out-of-control—feeling like you’ll never catch up with life.
Does God really want me to live my life like this? I don’t think so. I know that my laziness keeps me from doing things He wants me to do, so I’m working on bringing this area of my life captive to Christ.
Instead of sitting all day by the fire yesterday, I did this. First, I pulled out my procrastination verses and prayed through them. Then I truth journaled about my list (It would be more fun sitting and eating by the fire all day than working, I don’t feel like working so I shouldn’t, idle time is the best time, etc.), and finally I broke my jobs into smaller more manageable tasks and got to work.
Now you might say, “That’s crazy—all that work just to make yourself work? Why not just force yourself to do it?” Here’s the answer. If I just force myself to do it (which I’m not good at anyway), I miss the opportunity to renew my mind and change the way I think about work.
It took a lot of effort yesterday to carry my thoughts captive to Christ through truth journaling and praying Scripture. It would have been much easier just to sit by the fire and eat ice cream with the plan of “doing better tomorrow.” It would have been much easier to just try and force myself to do the work. It would have been much easier to give up and say, “I’ll never change.”
But do I really want what’s easy? Or do I want to please God? I can’t do both at the same time in this situation.
If I continue to renew my mind when I feel like procrastinating, one day I’ll have victory over this area of my life. I’ll probably never be a “let’s get it done” sort of person, but as God changes the way I think about work, I'll actually be more inclined to "get it done now" rather than waiting until later.
One day my first reaction will be to do the list—not head for the refrigerator. Taking the time to renew my mind now will lead to a weight loss later - because I won’t be eating to procrastinate anymore.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
The Lies that make us cave into the social pressure to eat
Hi, everyone! I said I’d try to write another post this week about the lies you might believe in a situation where you’re feeling pressured to overeat. Here it is—I hope it will help those of you who struggle in these situations.
1. I need to please (my mom, my family, my friends, etc.).
Truth: I need to please my Father—and I can't always please Him and others at the same time.
2. If I don’t eat (as much as they expect me to eat), they’ll be mad at me.
Truth: If I do eat, I’ll be mad at me.
3. They’ll ridicule me if I don’t eat.
Truth: I so rarely get the chance to suffer because I'm doing the right thing (usually I'm suffering because of my sin), that I'll take that as an honor if they ridicule me.
4. They’ll think I’m (uppity, self-righteous, judgmental, etc.).
Truth: God knows my heart, but it’s inevitable that others will sometimes misunderstand me and judge me. This is difficult and sad, but I need to press on anyway and do what God’s called me to do. I’ll have to spend some time with God before the get-together so I can love the people there with a pure heart, and not a defensive heart.
5. I’ll end up gaining my weight back and then they’ll ridicule me.
Truth: If I end up gaining my weight back, God will help me through it. He can use all things for His purposes.
6. They think I’m dumb for wanting to change my eating habits.
Truth: It’s okay if they think I’m dumb, but that may not even be the case. It's possible they feel threatened that I'm changing and would feel more comfortable if I didn't.
7. I won’t fit in if I don’t eat as much as they do.
Truth: This might be the price I have to pay for doing the Father’s will, but I'm guessing they'll love me even if they think I'm strange. I need to stop worrying about what they think and focus on loving them regardless of what they think.
1. I need to please (my mom, my family, my friends, etc.).
Truth: I need to please my Father—and I can't always please Him and others at the same time.
2. If I don’t eat (as much as they expect me to eat), they’ll be mad at me.
Truth: If I do eat, I’ll be mad at me.
3. They’ll ridicule me if I don’t eat.
Truth: I so rarely get the chance to suffer because I'm doing the right thing (usually I'm suffering because of my sin), that I'll take that as an honor if they ridicule me.
4. They’ll think I’m (uppity, self-righteous, judgmental, etc.).
Truth: God knows my heart, but it’s inevitable that others will sometimes misunderstand me and judge me. This is difficult and sad, but I need to press on anyway and do what God’s called me to do. I’ll have to spend some time with God before the get-together so I can love the people there with a pure heart, and not a defensive heart.
5. I’ll end up gaining my weight back and then they’ll ridicule me.
Truth: If I end up gaining my weight back, God will help me through it. He can use all things for His purposes.
6. They think I’m dumb for wanting to change my eating habits.
Truth: It’s okay if they think I’m dumb, but that may not even be the case. It's possible they feel threatened that I'm changing and would feel more comfortable if I didn't.
7. I won’t fit in if I don’t eat as much as they do.
Truth: This might be the price I have to pay for doing the Father’s will, but I'm guessing they'll love me even if they think I'm strange. I need to stop worrying about what they think and focus on loving them regardless of what they think.
Friday, April 3, 2009
The Dark Side of Camaraderie
When I was a teenager, my sister and I came up with a brilliant diet idea. We would eat whatever we wanted, but every three days we’d give up a whole food category and not eat it for the rest of the diet. We figured we wouldn’t have to monitor how much we eat, because there wouldn’t be much to eat anyway after a few weeks.
Now here’s the really brilliant part of our plan—every time we gave up a new category (that would be every three days), we would go out the night before and eat one last treat from that category.
Now you might be thinking “That doesn’t seem very smart to give up basic food groups,” and you would be right, of course, except for the fact that we weren’t giving up basic food groups.
No, what we were giving up was basic dessert groups: cakes—cookies—pastries—pies . . . (did I mention what a fun diet it was?).
Well, as you might have guessed, it wasn’t a very successful one. If I remember right, we lasted about two weeks—right up until the day we gave up our last food group: ice cream. By that time we could see the diet was going to get boring awfully fast, and we ended it. I’m afraid we didn’t lose much weight (actually I think we gained), but we did have a lot of fun.
There’s a sense of camaraderie that comes with eating together, isn’t there? In fact, I’ve always wondered if that’s not why God designed our bodies to need food—so it would be an opportunity for us to gather together in fellowship around a meal, enjoying the food and each other.
But there’s also a dark side to camaraderie—if what we’re enjoying together isn’t good for us, we might actually be hurting each other, all in the name of fun.
I had a woman write me this week, wondering if I would write a blog about the social pressures of eating. She was worried about attending the family Easter gathering and how she would be able to handle the day without eating too much. Her mom is an emotional eater and many of her family members are also. Listen to what she has to say:
My mom doesn't pressure me to eat but I automatically (auto-pilot) do . . . I’ll hear several family members complain about being fat, but food is their life, so they will go back and forth all afternoon and eat when they are stuffed. It's not overt pressure—it’s subtle, like it’s expected. If you don't eat like that, you are kind of an outcast.
Have you ever experienced this before—the pressure to eat because everyone around you is eating? Sometimes it comes from within—our desire to please or be part of the crowd—but often it comes from the outside. We’ve probably all experienced others saying things like this: “Oh, come on, one cookie won’t hurt—don’t be such a killjoy,” or “You’re no fun anymore—I liked you better the old way.”
These remarks not only hurt, they make it hard to maintain our fragile self-control. After all, we want to eat—we know it would be fun to sit there and eat whatever we want to eat—and even more than that, we want to fit in. It’s hard being the odd man out.
So what do we do? How do you handle situations like these? All I can suggest is that you prepare for them beforehand so you have the mind of Christ before you walk into the situation.
Remember that eating is more than just eating for the emotional eater. It’s a spiritual issue. God doesn’t want us to be controlled by anything but Him—and we’re much happier when He’s the one controlling us.
Eating the way God wants us to eat in a situation like this is an act of dying to self—dying to the desire to have others think well of us, dying to the desire to fit in, and dying to the desire to have fun with them and eat as much as we want.
Easter itself reminds us of how we're to live our lives. Listen to Hebrews 12:2: Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Jesus was the ultimate example of dying to self.
The focus of His life was to do the Father’s will, and He wants that to be the focus of our lives as well. Just as Jesus couldn’t do that without dying to self, we can’t either. So often in life we have to make a choice: Should I indulge my desires, or should I do the Father’s will? Should I do what others want me to do (so I don’t get condemned, so I don’t hurt their feelings, so I fit in, etc.), or should I do the Father’s will?
It still takes me by surprise sometimes when God’s Word reminds me that I have to suffer for His sake—because the culture tells me I shouldn’t have to suffer.
When the world is crying out, “What’s wrong with eating?? Have another lemon bar!” (that’s what it was saying to me yesterday), it doesn’t seem necessary to die to self. That’s why we need to spend so much time in the Word—so we remember the truth and have the power to act on it.
If you’re going into a difficult situation this Easter, it would be helpful to spend some time praying and thinking over these things before you go to your gathering. Another way you can prepare is to go over the lies you believe about the food itself.
I wrote a blog about this last November called The Lies of Thanksgiving. You should be able to find it by looking over on the left of this blog at the labels and clicking on the holidays link (one of these days I will learn how to actually put links in this blog, but I’m not there yet!).
It will help you even more if you write down those lies on a piece of paper and write out your own truth before you look at what I wrote—you’ll internalize it much more if you’re the one doing the thinking.
Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful Resurrection Sunday—because He lives, we have the power to be set free from our strongholds. Let’s pray for each other as we navigate another week filled with temptation.
P.S. I’ll try to write another post before Easter about the lies you might believe in a situation where you’re feeling pressured to eat.
Now here’s the really brilliant part of our plan—every time we gave up a new category (that would be every three days), we would go out the night before and eat one last treat from that category.
Now you might be thinking “That doesn’t seem very smart to give up basic food groups,” and you would be right, of course, except for the fact that we weren’t giving up basic food groups.
No, what we were giving up was basic dessert groups: cakes—cookies—pastries—pies . . . (did I mention what a fun diet it was?).
Well, as you might have guessed, it wasn’t a very successful one. If I remember right, we lasted about two weeks—right up until the day we gave up our last food group: ice cream. By that time we could see the diet was going to get boring awfully fast, and we ended it. I’m afraid we didn’t lose much weight (actually I think we gained), but we did have a lot of fun.
There’s a sense of camaraderie that comes with eating together, isn’t there? In fact, I’ve always wondered if that’s not why God designed our bodies to need food—so it would be an opportunity for us to gather together in fellowship around a meal, enjoying the food and each other.
But there’s also a dark side to camaraderie—if what we’re enjoying together isn’t good for us, we might actually be hurting each other, all in the name of fun.
I had a woman write me this week, wondering if I would write a blog about the social pressures of eating. She was worried about attending the family Easter gathering and how she would be able to handle the day without eating too much. Her mom is an emotional eater and many of her family members are also. Listen to what she has to say:
My mom doesn't pressure me to eat but I automatically (auto-pilot) do . . . I’ll hear several family members complain about being fat, but food is their life, so they will go back and forth all afternoon and eat when they are stuffed. It's not overt pressure—it’s subtle, like it’s expected. If you don't eat like that, you are kind of an outcast.
Have you ever experienced this before—the pressure to eat because everyone around you is eating? Sometimes it comes from within—our desire to please or be part of the crowd—but often it comes from the outside. We’ve probably all experienced others saying things like this: “Oh, come on, one cookie won’t hurt—don’t be such a killjoy,” or “You’re no fun anymore—I liked you better the old way.”
These remarks not only hurt, they make it hard to maintain our fragile self-control. After all, we want to eat—we know it would be fun to sit there and eat whatever we want to eat—and even more than that, we want to fit in. It’s hard being the odd man out.
So what do we do? How do you handle situations like these? All I can suggest is that you prepare for them beforehand so you have the mind of Christ before you walk into the situation.
Remember that eating is more than just eating for the emotional eater. It’s a spiritual issue. God doesn’t want us to be controlled by anything but Him—and we’re much happier when He’s the one controlling us.
Eating the way God wants us to eat in a situation like this is an act of dying to self—dying to the desire to have others think well of us, dying to the desire to fit in, and dying to the desire to have fun with them and eat as much as we want.
Easter itself reminds us of how we're to live our lives. Listen to Hebrews 12:2: Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Jesus was the ultimate example of dying to self.
The focus of His life was to do the Father’s will, and He wants that to be the focus of our lives as well. Just as Jesus couldn’t do that without dying to self, we can’t either. So often in life we have to make a choice: Should I indulge my desires, or should I do the Father’s will? Should I do what others want me to do (so I don’t get condemned, so I don’t hurt their feelings, so I fit in, etc.), or should I do the Father’s will?
It still takes me by surprise sometimes when God’s Word reminds me that I have to suffer for His sake—because the culture tells me I shouldn’t have to suffer.
When the world is crying out, “What’s wrong with eating?? Have another lemon bar!” (that’s what it was saying to me yesterday), it doesn’t seem necessary to die to self. That’s why we need to spend so much time in the Word—so we remember the truth and have the power to act on it.
If you’re going into a difficult situation this Easter, it would be helpful to spend some time praying and thinking over these things before you go to your gathering. Another way you can prepare is to go over the lies you believe about the food itself.
I wrote a blog about this last November called The Lies of Thanksgiving. You should be able to find it by looking over on the left of this blog at the labels and clicking on the holidays link (one of these days I will learn how to actually put links in this blog, but I’m not there yet!).
It will help you even more if you write down those lies on a piece of paper and write out your own truth before you look at what I wrote—you’ll internalize it much more if you’re the one doing the thinking.
Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful Resurrection Sunday—because He lives, we have the power to be set free from our strongholds. Let’s pray for each other as we navigate another week filled with temptation.
P.S. I’ll try to write another post before Easter about the lies you might believe in a situation where you’re feeling pressured to eat.
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